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  1. “Name's Barf. I'm a Mog, half man half dog. I'm my own best friend.”

    Automotive liposuction has begun on McQueen. My mechanical engineering skills excelled in removal of the vertical / horizontal spinal & buttock protection interfaces. Yeah, the seats have been removed - I say removed, more dislodged aggressively. I was hampered by recurring injuries, incompetence and sprained pride. The resulting anarchy left my knuckles brutally raped of skin, drawing more more blood than a vampires Tampax. If you think that’s crass - I Googled your mum!

    Going ...
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  2. 'What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?'

    Off on a tangent... TAN-GENT noun: ORIGIN late 16th cent from Latin tangent- ‘touching,’ from the verb tangere... My car history has not been great - here’s a few in no particular order: Morris Marina, Nissan Sunny, Austin Allegro (borrowed), Mini Van, Transit, Eagle SS kit car, Mr2 Mk1 (borrowed) Mr2 (mk2), Rover SDI, Opel Manta, Datson 280ZX, MG Metro, Frog Eyed Sprite, MGB GT (V8), Karma (Dino Kit with a Porsche Engine). Montego, VW Beetle, VW Camper Van x 2, BMW 3 Series, Alfasud, Lancia Delta, ...

    Updated 26-08-2011 at 15:11 by Captain Plastic

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  3. 'You are a realist masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist.'

    Got some interesting designs taking shape for McQueen. I won’t humiliate myself by posting them up now. That would be like seeing a naked stripper. I’ll save all that nonsense for when the build thread goes up.

    First, I blamed the Etch-A-Sketch. McQueen resembled a Lego designed Batmobile. Then I blamed the graph paper. The next catastrophe looked like an inebriated Stevie Wonder had been given a set of Crayola’s. And now I seem to have somehow gone a bit hardcore, old-skool Le Mans ...

    Updated 23-08-2011 at 23:21 by Captain Plastic (stupid typo's)

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  4. ‘If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer!

    The Daewo Matiz needs a restraining order for indecency. It’s like having a pigmy fetish. It’s humiliating and could end up in criminal proceedings.

    Let’s be brutally honest, in a sweeping generalisation, many fiberglass body-kits are like dead epileptics - they don’t fit. They’re a bit like the artist formerly known as Jordan, heinous amounts of filler and silicone are needed to achieve a mildly pleasing end result.

    As I kind of mentioned in a previous scribble, ...
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  5. "Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"

    Apologies - this entry is a tad random - a displacement activity.

    Anybody see BBC CASUALTY on Saturday night (13th Aug)? No, me neither. Not really on my televisual radar. But it happened to be an episode that I directed. I wouldn’t normally mention it, as despite rumours to the contrary I’m not a total self-publicizing whore. However, I bring it up on this occasion as we got to play silly buggers with a BMW which was kinda fun. If you get a chance persevere through the first 7 minutes ...
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