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Captain Plastic

"I'm so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I have."

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Been working in Wales, Cardiff. A lot of Mk1ís in Cardiff. It could be the same one of course and Iíve got the early onset of some rare kind of automotive dementia. Or maybe Iím slightly more attuned nowadays. Whichever version of the quantum paradox it was did throw up the niggling doubts I have about the project. One of the AW11ís was immaculate and it simply looked beautiful. A true classic. So why would I, me, the uninitiated, want to change that? I donít have an answer. I have a rusty Mk1, a hammer and a new set of spanners - is that reason enough? Do I sound like Carrie Bradshaw?

And then, if by divine intervention, I happened across two books. HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN SUPERCAR by BRIAN THOMPSON which I got a car-boot sale for £3 (viciously haggled the guy down from £3:50) and BUILD YOUR OWN SPORTS CAR by RON CHAMPION which was in the window of a charity shop. That cost £4:50 - it didnít seem right to haggle the price in Cancer Research - and should, by some unholy miracle of Jedwood proportions, I ever complete this car - indirectly it will have helped cured cancer). Total spend now sitting at £575.

Now, once Iíve learnt to read - Iím sure these books will be invaluable. Actually, I can read - provided people write slowly.

Okay, so Iím back on track. So now just need a name for it. Something cool. Something aspirational, something iconic. My better half lovingly refers to it as Ďthat piece of Ďexpletiveí crap on the driveí. I donít think itís catchy enough personally. Itís red so obviously ĎClitorisí rolls off the tongue. But if it was in a car park at night - Iíd never find it and then feel a bit of an arse-hole.

Our other cars have names, courtesy of our off-spring. Bubble, Chitty and Scooby (not a Subaru). Up until recently I had an old S1 Lotus Esprit, that was un-affectionately called Lohan (It had more breakdown than Lindsey Lohan). It was a good job it had a heated rear screen - kept my hands warm in the winter when I was pushing it.

For a temporary monica Iíve gone with the superlative CFSV6MR2MK1IGWSC. (Carbon Fibre Supercharged V6 MR2 Mk1 Inspired Gull Winged Super-Car). Obviously, weíre holding off on the christening.

MIG or TIG? I donít speak Klingon so I couldnít work out what the guy was saying.

Iím boring myself now.

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