View RSS Feed

Captain Plastic

“Name's Barf. I'm a Mog, half man half dog. I'm my own best friend.”

Rate this Entry
Automotive liposuction has begun on McQueen. My mechanical engineering skills excelled in removal of the vertical / horizontal spinal & buttock protection interfaces. Yeah, the seats have been removed - I say removed, more dislodged aggressively. I was hampered by recurring injuries, incompetence and sprained pride. The resulting anarchy left my knuckles brutally raped of skin, drawing more more blood than a vampires Tampax. If you think that’s crass - I Googled your mum!

Going to replace the seats with something super-light and curvy - a bit like a Carbon Fibre Kate Moss. Kinda fancy a leather clad Kate Moss type thingy - caressing my buttocks. Or should that be caressing my leather-clad buttocks? Maybe, a caffeine and cocaine composite Kate Moss thingamy - covered in material so light it’s woven from the fabric of time! Either way - it will weigh less than an astronauts fart and involve my buttocks getting caressed.

Now I feel a bit like a priest in a hotel asking to have his porn disabled - only to be told to have normal porn like everybody else.

Tags: mk1, V6 Add / Edit Tags
Events , Members Thoughts