TWOBRUTAL FAQ

Here you can find answers to questions about how the board works. Use the links or search box below to find your way around.

The Rules

If you want to avoid a ban or suspension then make sure you adhere to the following simple rules...


1.Avoid extreme bad language or swearing. Avoid using phrases such as "You've fucking well hit the clit right on the nail there, you cunting bastard", when a simple "yes" will do.

2.No Flaming, personal attacks.

3.No Offensive or Abusive posts.

4.No discussion of illegal activities.

5.No spamming.

6.No Obscene Graphic Material.

7.No alternate accounts are allowed. You may not use two or more different login IDs.

8.No public road racing tales. ;)

9.Keep siggies no larger than 500x160px and as small a file size as possible. They will be removed if not within these limits.

10.You must not login using some one else's login ID.


We're pretty down to earth but will not tolerate any of the above, however please also use the following advice for happy forum life.


11.No txt spk...just don't okay..annoys the hell out of me..

12.Be curtious and polite to the community.

13.Try to be helpful when replying to posts requiring specifics.

14.All items in the For Sale section must have an asking price, we're not fucking ebay! Posts may be removed without prior notice.

15.Keep in-line images to 900px wide or below.

16.In order to advertise or organise 'group buys' or multiple sales of the same item (ie. a mass produced item) you must be a subscribing Big Member.

17.Group buys, personal sales, wanteds and company sales must be placed in the correct forum. See individual forum stickies for regulations on posts.

18.Try to make the title of threads explanatory.

19.Avoid using CAPS in your posts unless you're really really cross..!



From time to time additional rules will be added when unperceived issues become apparent. These are given below.

20. The making of statements with no/little positive discussion is pointless and unproductive, and is not allowed.

21. No Trolls. If you want to piss people off for the sake of it find another forum.

22. Anyone found trying to hack another members account will be banned without warning. All logon activity and IP addresses are logged by default. Consequently if you conceal your IP you may be banned without warning.

23. The TBpicGallery should be used to display car/swap related images. Any other pictures may be removed without warning.

24. The PM system must not be used for negative discussion of other members. Although not monitored, any evidence that should come to light regarding the above will be dealt with swiftly and may result in a suspension or ban. (note: It also TB policy that the PM system remain exactly that a means of PRIVATE messaging between members. TB will not read your PMs)

25. The use of TWOBRUTAL club logos and/or graphics is strictly prohibited unless you have prior permission from a Moderator or Admin. The reason is purely to avoid confusion on other forums/websites as to your authority within TWOBRUTAL. Whilst we are very grateful to anyone who wishes to spread the word of TB we dont wish you to be mistaken for a Moderator/Admin for your own sake and ours.

26. The forum filesystem and database are protected under copyright and are property of TWOBRUTAL and may not be duplicated accross forums or websites in any way whatsoever (including but not solely limited to; embedding pages or content, copy&pasting content, hot linking, scraping etc) without prior permission from the Admin. The generation of mailing lists and other data obtained from direct or indirect access to the database tables and the personal information held therein is strictly prohibited and illegal. Your data is held in accordance with the Data Protection Act 1998.

Caveat: In most cases you'll get three warnings then a suspension or total ban based on your IP. For more serious issues an immediate ban will occur.


If you are unsure about any of these rules or feel they have been breached by others please inform a moderator or admin asap. You can alert a mod or the admin to an unacceptable post by clicking the Hazard sign at the top of the post.

Nik Farmer.
TWOBRUTAL OWNER

TWOBRUTAL reserves the right to suspend, ban, revoke membership fees or report any user to the appropriate authorities without notice. All posts/threads found to be in breach of the rules will be deleted without notice. All threads seen to undermine the club, its members and/or products as a whole or in part as perceived by the Mod Team will be removed without warning. All IP addresses are automatically logged and will be used in such circumstances.
These rules are subject to continued modification and change so please visit them regularly.

TB Purchases ('TB Goodies')

All TB Goodies are personally manufactured by TB to specifications given by TB to the chosen manufacturer.
All items are made to the highest standards available.

Each item should reach you in perfect condition as it is despatched brand new and packaged accordingly.
Any damage caused whilst in transit to any given address cannot be compensated for and TB will not be liable for such damage. However, if postal insurance is required then please specify when ordering.

Due to budget constraints it is entirely possible that TB may not have the correct amount of items in stock at any one time, in such circumstances you will be notified and given an estimated delay time, if this is not acceptable a refund will be given.

Orders placed can expect a delivery time of 3-4 weeks though in most cases items should reach a UK address within 14 days.

Orders can be sent outside of UK mainland. Please PM me (nik) before you order to discuss postage costs to your country.

If for any reason you are not completely satisfied a refund can be negotiated.

In the case of garment merchanidise please take usual coloured cottons care instructions into consideration. Wash on a cool setting (40deg), seperate colours from whites, avoid tumble drying and iron inside out taking care not to iron directly onto the printed graphic.

Enjoy your TB Goodies.

TB Euphethingies

eu?phe?mism (yf-mzm)
n.
The act or an example of substituting a mild, indirect, or vague term for one considered harsh, blunt, or offensive.


"Mechanical Adjustment" - smack it with a hammer

"Large Adjusting Tool" - big hammer

"Gaining Clearance" - The art of grinding bits off stuff to make other bits fit

"Access Panel" - huge hole cut in the boot wall

"Well Engineered" - making engine mounts out of thicker material than the steel in the Sydney Harbour Bridge

"Good Idea" - Something completly stupid and nearly impossible that sounds cool.

"TB Big/Small Member" - A (soon to be / already) crazy nutter with some "good ideas"

"Probe" - The TB'ers first choice for a turbo engine or what paul likes to do in his spare time

"Thingymajig" - The dance you do once your swap is complete

"banned" - the thing that Goldy will be if his lip keeps up

"smuglysuperior" - new word,the feeling you get the exact moment when the mk2 turbo you just flogged is slowly dissapearing behind you.

"whatthefu...!" - the feeling a mk2 turbo driver experiences when you feel smuglysuperior

"etch-a-sketch" - twiddling your GF's nipples in an attempt to draw a smile on her face....not twobrutal related but i like it...

"podgetastic" - the act of trying to force an intercooler the size of your fridge into the boot of a mk1

"fridgetastic" - giving up on being podgetastic and actually using the fridge instead cos its smaller

"gennybox" - creating something so bizarre and odd with extreme precision and craftsmanship that its got to be applauded.

"youhavebeenoutbid" - the feeling you get the moment you try to buy anything sam is also buying

"delhi car tension" - knowing you built a 1.5,you own a 1.5,you have driven a 1.5 but you have been without it for years and cant wait to drive it again,not to be confused with the delicatessen,thats different.

"improved headroom" - chop the feckin thing of (or raising the steering wheel)

"twister" - the final move that wins you the game,identical to the position you need to achieve to remove the turbo actuator rod from a 3s-gte wastegate.

"operation" - trying to remove a small bolt you dropped down the side of the timing cover with long nose pliers,usually you get it halfway out before it slips and falls somewhere even worse.

"mr potato head" - attaching various parts to a mk1 in an attempt to make it look better

"Done a Woods" - fouling ones-self and others nearby whith joke telling (exactly the same response as a fart in a lift..uses:"sorry, i've done a woods")

"Torque Amplifier" - supercharging that 3vz-fe (i actually had a screwdriver with a torque amplifier you know..you slid this bigger handle over the standard handle..thus amplifying the torque, it even said 'torque amplifier' on the extra handle..not funny but true..)

"TeeBeed" - when you get whooped by a hairdressers car from the 80's (uses:"i was totally fucking TeeBeed the other day")

"Meat Envy" - this is probably restricted to a site admin who is a couple of countires away from decent meat.

"Scabby Chicken" - a very rusty mk1 OR indian staple (see 'Meat Envy').

"Street Urchin" - a small grubby child seen begging at lights in new delhi. feelings of wanting to adopt said children usually follow OR someone driving a standard mk1 mr2..defianately no feelings of adoption follow (unless theyre female and have recently passed their driving test.)

"mig welding / mig welder" / ,...might welder" - a process for those who do not have the appropraite machine tools for metal, a derivate of the word 'MIGht'; 'it might just f'kin hold if i melt it together'

"swapee" - An introvert individual believing the end of the world is nigh, hoarding two, sometimes three of every item into a make believe arc 'garage'.

"ASBO" - a silly bugger oscar; awarded to those whom have excelled the boundaries of automotive physics with little more than a might welder, and the remnants of scabby chickens..

"JIG" - what to do when half of your car is built for you

"wellycopter" - the moment you've discovered you have cross threaded the threads on your crank and you send a spanner flying through the air at the garage wall...

"lodgebay" - part of ebay that none of us seem to have access to.....this mystical place turns up all sorts of useful items.

Disclaimer

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